Oh That Chisel

First let me just say how GREAT it feels to wake up before 9 on a Saturday morning not nursing a hangover. Seriously...I can't believe I allowed myself to live that way for so long. On Saturday's when I was alone I use to not wake up until the afternoon then wander around the house pretending to be doing something before laying back on the couch wishing I didn't feel miserable. Then guess what I would do Saturday night? What a waste. What a dark place. But God never wastes a pain...and I'm certainly not going to let this life go to waste any longer.

But the road to recovery still lends itself to hurt. But now the hurt isn't self inflicted. I've turned my life over to my Abba...so it's time for Him to chisel away. It's discipline. And though I know the outcome will ultimately be extraordinary...doesn't mean it's not a painful process.

In preparing for a meeting this coming week, I was reading through a book and there was a great line in it, "truth decay"...which is just a way of saying coming clean. It is here that we openly examine and confess our faults to ourselves, to God, and another person we trust. We chip away and clean out all the decay of the past that has built up over the years and has kept us from really seeing the truth about our past and present situations. How uncomfortable and hard is that? But one of the biggest and most important steps in recovery...look at it, jump in, roll around in it, confess it, accept it, ask then accept forgiveness for it...then LET IT GO.

Opening up and letting it out is where we start and ugh...how hard a task can that be. Job said: "Let me express my anguish. Let me be free to speak out of the bitterness of my soul." (7:11) It's not like He's going to be surprised about what we have to express...He just wants to HEAR it from our own mouths.

But what about guilt? This one is HUGE for me right now. Do you know and understand the God-given purpose of guilt? God uses guilt to correct us through His Spirit when we are wrong. That's called conviction. And conviction HURTS!

But don't confuse conviction with condemnation. Romans 8:1 tells us, "There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ." Once we have made the decision to ask Jesus into our hearts, once we confess our wrongs, accept Christ's perfect forgiveness, and turn from our sins, as far as God is concerned, guilt's purpose-to make us feel bad about what we did in the past-is finished. But we like to hold on to it and beat ourselves over the head-repeatedly-with it!

That's condemnation, but it's not from God, it's from ourselves.

That chisel is painful, but so necessary to the process of constantly dealing with our struggles and learning new techniques to dealing with not only our past, but everything we encounter on a daily basis. Like Peter says, "the proverbs are true: A dog returns to its vomit, and a washed pig returns to the mud." That was me! I kept returning to my old ways...and where did it lead me? Back to another day, in the depths of depression, regretting what I'd done, but doing them all over again the next day. Thank you GOD for rescue. Thank YOU for your chisel. I'd take it any day over the life you have saved me from.

 Be restored.